we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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