I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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