butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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