Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
