I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Randomize
