Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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