Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Randomize
