awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize