it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
He felt like a one man threesome
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
