I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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