dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
