woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Sext me about skeletons
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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