before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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