I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
