Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
two words: eviction party
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
