found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
