I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
