make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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