Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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