ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
