I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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