question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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