there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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