To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
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