some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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