Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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