Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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