small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
