Whod you bang
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
honey bunches of taint.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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