She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
