I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
