I can't watch pbs sober anymore
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
