So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
he fucked my hip out of place.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
