I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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