Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
