Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
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