Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
