i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
