If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
