I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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