he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize