and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
He felt like a one man threesome
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Mom said you looked used
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
