I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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