smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
