Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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