I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
