that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
