oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize