Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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