You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
