This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Randomize
