I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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