My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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