How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Sex with a fat chick.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Im part way to drunk.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.