I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.