from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.