I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
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He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
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That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...