so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
