Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
cat food counts as protein by the way
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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