she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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