some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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