Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
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