the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
