can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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