someone threw a dead crab at me
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
