We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
