you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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