I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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